


A Second Chance

by OblivionCastro



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst?, Barisi Gift Exhange, I listed to What It's Like to Be Lonely while writing this, I'm Sorry, I'm also sorry I don't know how to tag, M/M, SO, This isn't 1000 words, and was going to name it that, boring-ass title instead, but the ending isn't sad, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 22:04:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13133139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OblivionCastro/pseuds/OblivionCastro
Summary: Rafael hasn't seen Carisi smile in months.





	A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Summah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summah/gifts).



“Mind if I sit, Rafael? Have a drink?”

Rafael looks up. Carisi is standing over his shoulder. 

Carisi doesn’t let Rafael ask how he found him; this isn’t his usual haunt. He just sits, before Rafael even says a word, so close their elbows bump. Carisi, who hasn’t come within 5 feet in months, is grinning. Like he knows exactly what he’s doing, after everything.

He doesn’t, but Rafael doesn’t need to know that. 

“If it’s on you, of course, Carisi.”

Carisi laughs. It’s been a while. Since Carisi’s laughed at Rafael. 

Rafael exhales. He’d missed this. When Carisi’s smile widened no matter what he said. When Carisi tried too hard to get close to him. When he and Carisi actually spoke and didn’t yell. 

“Scotch, counselor? I think I could handle that. No more than 3 glasses though. I know I haven’t been myself lately, but that’s no reason to burn a hole in my pocket.”  


Carisi is trying too hard. Rafael smiles.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Carisi. I’m not going to hold your behavior against you; it was a hard year. Though, next time, I’d rather not bear the brunt of it. You come here to apologize?”

Carisi is frowning, now. Maybe he didn’t come to apologize to Rafael, maybe Rafael read that wrong. 

Rafael’s never really been good at reading people, anyway. Not like Carisi is. 

Carisi sighs.

For a second, he thinks Carisi might yell. 

Rafael thinks that maybe it’s his fault Carisi hasn’t smiled in months. That maybe it’s his fault Carisi’s stopped butting in on everyone’s business. That maybe it’s his fault Carisi’s stayed in his own bubble. That maybe it’s his fault Carisi’s fist clenches every time Rafael steps into a room. That maybe it’s his fault Carisi’s been yelling. 

It is his fault.

Rafael doesn’t remember seeing Carisi yell before that night. 

But Rafael doesn’t remember seeing Carisi smile before that night either. He doesn’t remember when Carisi stopped smiling, but it was before that. Carisi had said he loved him, but he’d been frowning, like it made him sad. 

That’s why Rafael left. 

Rafael wanted Carisi to be happy. 

“No, Rafael, that’s not what I wanted to say.”

Carisi’s still frowning. Carisi is sitting right next to Rafael, nothing separating them, and he’s still frowning. He wants to move, wants to leave. But he’ll let Carisi call the shots. 

“Okay, Carisi. What is it?”

Carisi’s still frowning at him. He’s been frowning at him. Since that night, maybe. 

But Rafael refuses to tell Carisi he loves him, not when Carisi deserves better. He wants to see Carisi happy. Wants to see him smile. 

Carisi doesn’t smile anymore. He just looks sad. 

“I still love you.”

Rafael’s face falls. 

“I…”

“Please… don’t be in love with someone else.”

Carisi’s voice is soft, and Rafael almost wishes he were yelling. 

No. 

Carisi gets up, before Rafael can even speak, and he’s so far now, which is worse, because Rafael wants to be next to him, so close their elbows bump, like it was months ago when Carisi knew exactly what he was doing. 

Rafael stands up, so fast his head spins, and looks right at Carisi. Rafael wants to let him leave, let Carisi go, but Carisi hasn’t smiled since that night, and that’s Rafael’s fault. 

“Wait” Rafael says.

Carisi turns to look at him. He’s still not smiling. He hasn’t smiled in months. 

Rafael doesn’t know what to do.

At least Carisi’s not leaving. 

Carisi’s not leaving, and Rafael feels something like hope.

“Stay,” Rafael says, and he’s frowning and so is Carisi, and Rafael’s expecting Carisi to walk away. 

He isn’t expecting what happens next. 

Carisi kisses him and he knows exactly what he's doing. 

Rafael wishes he let Carisi kiss him months ago.

Carisi keeps kissing Rafael until Rafael’s sure they’ve been kissing at least a minute.

It’s not enough. 

Rafael kisses Carisi again, and Rafael feels good. 

Rafael sees Carisi’s lips, and their swollen and raw and Rafael smiles. 

Carisi’s still not smiling but he’s not frowning either.

Carisi pulls Rafael closer, so close their noses bump, and Rafael almost laughs. He wasn’t expecting to be making out in a bar with Carisi tonight.

That was fast. 

Carisi kisses Rafael again, hard, like he’s been waiting for forever, and Rafael’s…

He’s happy and Rafael doesn’t think he’s been happy in months. 

Carisi’s lips are still on his. 

Carisi’s lips are still on his, and this it it, Rafael thinks.

A second chance. 

What did Rafael do to deserve one? 

Carisi pulls away, and he’s not smiling.

But he’s not frowning either and Rafael thinks it’s a start. 

Sonny looks more relaxed than he has since June, at least. 

“So?” he asks. And Rafael thinks it’s cute. How blissful Sonny’s voice sounds. When it’s sounded nothing but angry for months. 

“I love you too, Sonny,” Rafael says, and Sonny sighs, and he’s kissing Rafael again, and he’s not frowning anymore.

Carisi’s smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Yes, I did ignore the entirety of season 19. Oops. 
> 
> 2\. Sorry this didn't hit 1000 words, I was going to BS the other 200, but that didn't feel right. I may have to WRITE you a drabble. 
> 
> 3\. This is 2 days late because I forgot and Maggie is a SAINT for putting up with me (twice). 
> 
> 4\. I'd insult my own work but Bee has banned me from doing so. 
> 
> 5\. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, SUMMER! HOPE YOU ENJOY! :) :) :)


End file.
